Herb garden in progress

I have wanted a herb garden for so long! Unfortunately we have a small garden and a traditional, as I view it, herb garden is not possible so I have had to improvise.

I bought some plants and seeds and started them growing in small pots. They have now started to get big enough to pot on.

I got my grandchildren to help, they painted some pots for me and a jolly good job they did too. My young grandson got a dibber and made holes in some soil in a long trough and we repotted some herbs into that. He tucked the soil round them and then told everyone they had to be quiet as the bubbas were asleep! We have quite a few small baby plants as he calls them in the garden and he won't let people forget they are there. The paintings here are done by the older two grandchildren.

I wanted to grow lettuce too so my husband bought some guttering which we filled with soil and added the lettuce plants and fitted it at an angle to allow for drainage.

I might not have the fanciest garden but I am happy. I have sage, tarragon, basil, thyme, lemon verbona, parsley, chives, rosemary and some others. Gradually I am building up the variety and I look forward to using them in cooking, teas and as medicinal herbs too.

I think getting the children involved is good as they learn such a lot about where foods come from if they have access to a garden. My children did as children and my younger daughter did her Brownie Guide badge in gardening through having a patch of her own.

It is sad that children think all food comes from a supermarket even in this day and age. Luckily the three grandchildren we have here in France live in a very rural community and they are aware of where food comes from. I know my other two grandchildren in the UK will also grow up knowing too, it is just sad that some children don't have the experiences that teach them that food is grown, harvested, sold and then is taken to shops to sell.

I desperately want to eliminate artificial flavourings and preservatives from my diet and growing my own food as much as possible, allowing for the small space we have. Buying fresh food to make meals from scratch goes a long way to knowing what you are putting in your body. Autoimmune diseases are horrid things and the food you eat, whilst not curing you, can help to eliminate some of the symptoms that are suffered.

Turn up the heat!

Well, the rain seems it will never stop, every time you look out the window the sky is leaking.

Now, anyone who has arthritis will tell you cold, rain and arthritis just do not mix. My hips are so painful and I am pill popping to try and get some relief. A warm house and lovely warm food go a long way to make life more bearable.

We have a wood burner and an open fire which heat the lounge and kitchen which works to a point but the open fire is difficult to keep alight and smokes badly. We have managed, but things took a turn when our son in law came back from his late grandmother's house and offered us her wood burner to replace the open fire. We jumped at the offer and when it arrived we could see it is very solid. The burner is 150 years old and really heavy. We are cleaning it up and arranging for installation. Our son in law said that it took three of them to lift the wood burner and that was after taking out the bits and pieces that are loose inside.  It isn't what some people would call 'pretty' but perhaps I am from the generation that feels as long as it is functional then that is fine!

For us the weather is stopping us getting out in the garden and sorting out the planting. With me, the problem is the wheelchair won't roll over the soggy grass and when it is in position it sinks into the mud. I don't like my husband getting out in the rain, for a period of time anyway, as I can't risk him getting ill. That is for his sake as well as mine. We have seedlings to go out as well as stuff we have kept over the winter. We do have some herbs in pots and are using those for herb salads as well as in cooking but they will need to be replanted soon too. Planting and growing your own produce also saves money, something we are all trying to do nowadays.

We need to get some vegetables planted out very soon or they won't be ready when we need them. Even though we have a small garden we can grow potatoes, beans, onions, lettuce, rhubarb, tomatoes and anything else we can fit i, as well as the herbs. Pots are a brilliant way of growing salads, herbs and tomatoes. I have seen ingenious methods of utilising space and am keen to try them out. Some materials are close to hand or by recycling which of course is encouraged.

I have looked into getting plants, both floral and vegetables, and am in favour of sharing plants between friends and neighbours. We have furnished our gardens many times by cuttings from other people and have given them cuttings in return. Car boot sales are another good place to get plants as many people take cuttings, plants and seeds to sell alongside other goods. We have been lucky enough to grow some plants from seeds or pips in vegetables and fruits we have eaten. It doesn't always work but unless you try!

I am especially keen to get children involved in gardening. Our daughters were always involved in gardening and they were so proud when they saw things they grew on the dinner table. Our grandchildren now show an interest in what is grown. So many children have no idea where food comes from, except the supermarket. I feel they are more likely to eat food they have been involved in producing.

There is nothing more satisfying as planting a seed and watching it grow into something you can pick and incorporate into a meal. In this day and age when people are so busy and use prepackaged goods it is no wonder children are ignorant of where their food originates. I admit that there are times when I am lazy and use a packet or tin  but I try very hard to use fresh food and try to eliminate preservatives and colourings.

People who have illnesses like rheumatoid arthritis and other auto immune diseases react to certain foods and it is imperative to try and keep triggers to a minimum. If I make dishes from scratch, using fresh foods, I feel I am doing my best in reducing the risk of triggering a flare of the arthritis. I know what is in the meal and can monitor much more easily the foods that may trigger a flare.

So come on weather brighten up so we can get out in the garden and make the best use of the space we have available.

Setting goals, but does Fred listen?

I have had to have stern words with Fred as I am going through a flare but he just doesn't want to listen. I have even tried to give the flare away but no takers so far.

I have been reading forums and blogs and seen posts about setting goals and racing to finish activities.

I feel setting goals is a good idea as it spurs everyone to achieve. However, it isn't that easy when you have a chronic illness. Many years ago I was introduced to 'pacing' but I have never been able to achieve it. Of course I have learnt the hard way and caused myself distress, pain and acute fatigue; not to mention what I have done to my family, especially my husband by not practising this technique.

Realistic goals are excellent as long as you stick to those goals and not try and overachieve. It would (and has been for me) easy to feel that having achieved the set goals you can push on to do a little more and a little bit more. Setting unrealistic goals mean that you will be rushing to finish and for anyone who has chronic pain, stiffness and tiredness it is the perfect way to set you back and stop further activity for a while.

So what are realistic goals?

For me it is being able to prepare meals, go shopping, visit friends, go on outings. Not overly exciting but for me they are what I want to do while others have different goals but the technique is the same.

If I want or need to go out I need to rest up the day before. Depending on where I have been and how long I have been out I might need to rest up the day after too. To go shopping I have to have a list and plan where I am going, so we have an route we will follow. If I am out too long I get so tired I find it difficult to communicate; this is a legacy of my three strokes. I have to have help with cooking and I turn to my husband or granddaughter to assist me. My husband never complains at chopping onions, garlic and chilli peppers, although I make him wash his hands thoroughly afterwards! My granddaughter makes superb pastry but if I need to do it whilst she is at school I use my food processor; saves time and eliminates pain. I make my own bread and I am so thankful for my bread maker, pop in the ingredients, switch on and let it get on with it. I feel some kitchen aids are a waste of money but my food processor, bread maker and juicer are worth the money.

I use a chair to sit on when I have to stir sauces or ingredients at the cooker and ask my husband to get things from cupboards, the fridge, freezer and cooker. Some people will say I am lazy but just these little changes to my life mean I can achieve goals something very important to people in my position. If I tire myself but being too independent it means I collapse in pain and feeling so tired and I will have to go to bed. I then cannot eat meals with my husband and put extra pressure on him and the rest of the family. This is most unfair to them, I like to watch television with my husband but if I overdo it then we watch the same programme in separate rooms.

To make life easier for my husband I have a medical bed which has a controller to raise the bed and the head to help me sit up. This helps him so he hasn't got to manually lift me. So the goals I set means that my husband isn't too tired and in pain to help me through the day and achieve what I want to do.

Even following these techniques doesn't mean that you can do everything you would like to do. Rheumatoid arthritis can go into remission but equally it can flare out of control. People live with varying degrees of rheumatoid arthritis and this has a bearing on what they can do.

There is no need to rush through chores or activities.
Take regular breaks.
Try to sit while doing household chores like food preparation, ironing, gardening and while attending to food on the cooker.
Use aids or adaptations to help with household chores, in the car, in the bathroom and if necessary in the bedroom.
Lose weight if necessary to avoid strain on joints and hopefully improve mobility.
Make sure you take the medication prescribed and discuss your medication with your rheumatologist if you feel things are not going well.
Make sure the goals you set are realistic.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Don't be afraid to accept offers of help.
Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease and affects organs as well as joints, report anything you feel is abnormal for you.

Having written this I now have to make sure I follow my own advice!

Staying positive.

We woke this morning to a very grey, foggy, damp, cold day.

The nurse came to do my blood test and give me my methotrexate injection. She was very cold and said the fog was quite dense. We had to go shopping and visit the pharmacy so we wrapped warmly and set off. The thermometer in the car was registering minus 1 as soon as we left home.

The local market town was freezing. I had a thick jacket, hat, boots and gloves but still felt cold. We went to get my medication and then did the shopping as quickly as possible to get home. Luckily we didn't have to wait around too long and we were on our way home. By this time my hips, back, and neck were agony.

The wood burner in the kitchen was warmly welcoming. A hot cup of coffee went a long way to warm us up on the inside. I was insistent that I help prepare lunch and dinner but the pain in my hands made things very difficult but being so stubborn I ploughed on.

After lunch we sat by a huge log fire in our lounge with a cup of tea and a good book. Where better on a horrid day? Curled up in my big armchair is was fantastic, watching the flames and feeling the warmth made me appreciate what I have.

Unfortunately the methotrexate always make me feel quite unwell but I am so stubborn I don't want to give in unless there is nothing else for it.

Methotrexate has not done me any favours. Dizziness, sore throat, itching, hair loss and problems with my lungs. I had pneumonia twice in four months. One of the side effects noted about methotrexate is that it causes mild hair loss but for me I lost all the hair on my legs, bikini line and under arms.

I also take prednisone daily. The side effects of that are also very distressing. The weight gain around the abdoment, the dowger hump, the round 'moon' face, acne (for me this has been mainly on the chest, arms, buttocks and occasionally on my face. I have developed diabetes, I have osteopenia in my left hip, high blood pressure and where I have lost hair in certain places I have an inordinate amount of hair on my face. I am lucky that I am very fair so the hair is not as noticeable as it could be but it is there.

In October I was hospitalized with a herniated cervical disc. On admission I was also found to be diabetic. After initially increasing the dose of prednisone over a month while the disc healed, my rheumotologist decided it might be prudent to lower the dose slowly over the next few months to get me off the steroid. I was happy with this arrangement but I am amazed to find that since lowering the dose I now have hairy legs! I was shaving my legs lightly every three months now if I leave it I shall be plaiting the hairs! Still no hair under the arms though, but I do believe that I am seeing less hair on my face. The dowger hump has gone and I have noticed a great change in my face which looks less moon faced. As I was put on a diabetic diet I am losing weight which is good news for the arthritis, the diabetes and the high blood pressure.

I still get pain though which perhaps is due to the lower dosage of steroid but until the blood test results come back I really don't know. My neck has been in so much pain that I have temporarily increased the steroid after talking to my rheumotologist, he has that this is for two weeks but if the pain and the side effects of the disc continue then we will have to discuss the matter.

I have enough problems with the pain Fred gives me without the cold and damp weather we are stuck with at present. Managing Fred, coping with the pain, trying to get off of medication is very stressful which plays right into the hands of the auto immune system and throws that right off kilter.

But stay positive. I am positive it hurts, I am positive I am fed up with Fred, I am positive I hate my medication, I am positive I loathe the side effects.